Greetings, fellow trail enthusiasts! It’s your not-so-fearless middle-aged trail runner here, and I’m ready to embark on a hilarious quest to reclaim my once-glorious running mojo that has mysteriously vanished over the past two years. You see, life has a funny way of getting in the way—work, Netflix, and that one time I got really taste for mince pies (all year round... don't ask). But 2025 is my year, and I’m determined to hit the trails again, even if it means facing some rather amusing hurdles along the way.
The Plan: Dusting Off the Running Shoes
First things first, I need to find my running shoes. I last saw them at the back of a dark cupboard under the stairs, possibly being used by all manner of creepy crawlies as a home. I can only hope they haven’t become too attached to their new owner. If I manage to locate them, I’ll probably have to dust them off and wrestle with the realisation that my feet have grown a bit, ahem, “fluffier.” Maybe I’ll need to invest in new shoes—something that says, “I’m back!” and not “I’ve been hibernating like a bear.”
Setting Realistic Goals (i.e., Not Pretending I’m 25)
As I plan my comeback, I need to set realistic goals. Instead of aiming for a full ultra marathon right off the bat, I think I’ll start with shorter distances. Perhaps a leisurely 5K? Or, let’s be honest, a brisk walk around the block? I mean, who am I kidding? I can barely sprint to the fridge without needing a snack break. In my mind, I envision myself gliding effortlessly along the trails, but I must remember that my current “training” consists of walking to the couch and back. Perhaps I should consider a “couch to trail” program—complete with motivational snacks and some sort of medal for participation.
Battling the Hurdles: The Inner Couch Potato
Ah, the couch potato. My greatest opponent! It has a magnetic pull, especially when there’s a new series on TV or a particularly cosy blanket involved. I can already hear it whispering sweet nothings, like, “Just one more episode, you deserve it!” The struggle will be real, my friends. I’ll need to summon all my willpower, or at the very least, bribe myself with post-run treats. Maybe I’ll set up a reward system: run two miles, get a donut; run three miles, get a donut AND a coffee. It’s all about motivation, right? Besides, the trails will still be there after I’ve indulged in a few (dozen) pastries.
The Gear Dilemma: Function over Fashion
Ah, the trail running gear. Somewhere in that closet, beneath the dust bunnies and a mysterious assortment of socks, lies my once-prized collection of running shoes. But wait! Did I really need three pairs of trail shoes? One for wet conditions, one for dry, and one for “just in case”? My wife might have some opinions on that. She’ll probably ask, “Did you really need to keep those shoes from 2018?” To which I’ll confidently reply, “Yes! They’re vintage!”
The Grand Plan
So, what’s the grand plan for 2025? I’ll start by signing up for a local trail race (because nothing says commitment like a public spectacle). I’ll also recruit a buddy to join me, because misery loves company, and it’s always more fun when you can moan about your sore legs together.
Conclusion: The Journey Ahead
In conclusion, my comical journey back to trail running is bound to be filled with laughter, missteps, and perhaps a few too many snacks along the way. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my middle-aged years, it’s that life is too short not to chase after the joys we once loved – even if that means stumbling over roots and dodging squirrels. So here’s to 2025! May my trail shoes be less dusty, my legs more limber, and my sense of humor intact.
Let the adventures begin! Happy trails (hopefully)! 🏃♂️🌲🍕